Am I failure? I told myself I would blog everyday. However, circumstances I feel did not help. I am not a victim. I am just frustrated. The day I started blogging, my husband was out on a hunting trip for 4 days. I had no worries about disturbing anyone. I was free to venture. Our PC resides next to our bed. We live in a small dwelling. I had once owned a laptop but it crashed on me and I have yet the time or funds to fix it. The next morning I was typing away at the keyboard. My husband did not look kindly upon this, and I don't blame him. I get up earlier than he does. He simply wanted to sleep. I explained what I was doing it for, and he was a little more supportive of it. But it still keeps me from blogging in the mornings.
I do not want to give this up. I feel I have given up a lot of myself these past 5 years. Things I like to do, I am no longer doing. My routines are no longer mine. I don't co-parent very well. But am trying. I don't take time or spend money on myself. I work a job I don't like. I am in my mid-30's and feel 60 sometimes. I am determined to keep this up. I cannot and will not give up everything.
So, am I failure? No. I don't think anyone is. We all go through life with expectations. Some of us are harder on ourselves than others. So, when these expectations don't go as plan we deem ourselves as failures. NO! I say. I am not a failure, YOU are not a failure. These are stumbling blocks. If you keep faith in your heart, with a higher being, you will get through these things. I have my faith in God. Believe me, without Him, I do not think I would be on this earth today. I will one day blog about my past and you may see what having faith in higher being will do for someone.
Here's to your life!
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